Bye, Bye Braddles

WARNING:
This is a mush blog, don't read it if you don't like mush!

If you're an avid reader of my blogs (why???) you'll remember that i am in love, absolutely smitten with the karaoke host, Brad. He's an absolute gem he really is.

But he's not by any means a Christian and it's so, so sad.

A principle I've tried to live by since coming to a more intimate relationship with God a few years ago is to keep my heart set on the person God is preparing for me. I haven't set eyes (or heart) on any young chap that's not living closely to God for about 3 years.

Until Brad.

I don't know whether it's because i'm becoming slack in my walk with God or whether there just hasn't been anyone who's caught my attention in that time but the thought that Brad isn't who God has planned for me just yet has sort of been pushed to the back of my thoughts and i haven't really cared that he's not yet apart of God's family.

This weekend i've heard preachers constantly preach about giving our 100% to God, about being faithful to God, about becoming free in Christ and i'm starting to hear God saying to me, what are you holding back?

I've realised i'm hanging onto an affection for someone God doesn't want me to be with. I'm realising that I'm trying to take control of my relationships instead of letting God deal with that. I've realised that i want to be so desperately in love with Brad that i don't care if it's what God wants or not and i've realised that's not a good thing. I'm not going to be truly free in Christ if i'm holding the reigns instead of God.

Sure, God's got a backup plan if i don't follow his original plan and he's not going to leave me alone but ideally he wants me to walk in his first perfect plan for my life (i learnt that in bible study a couple of years ago).

What i'm trying to say is that Brad is not who God has in mind for me (at least not now, if ever) and it's time for me to make the decision about who's in control.

For awhile now, i've been sitting on the fence trying to convince myself that it's ok to fall for Brad while in my heart i can quite clearly hear God saying, "um, no, i don't think so". So i'm deciding to jump off the fence and catch up to God who's already continued walking ahead of me and just the thought of that makes me feel a bit more burden-free.

To paint a picture for you, it's like a little kid who's got tired from walking and sits down to rest but is starting to realise they can't see their father who's starting to disappear into the distance. So they jump off the fence and run to catch up.

In my personal opinion, i reckon it's ok to have a rest and a break every now and again coz sometimes we do get tired, so long as we don't do it too often and for too long and as long as we're leaving God in control the whole time!

So whilst i'll keep praying for him and being God's witnessing tool to him, in my heart it's time to say farewell Brad!

Tink xoxo