Plodding Along

Sometimes, an unexpected turn of events will suddenly hit you. It comes out of nowhere and it makes you re-evaluate everything in your life. Everything you've ever stood for, everything you've ever believed. It makes you re-evaluate where you are going and what things lie in store for the rest of your life. All your goals, dreams, expectations are stirred. When you think life is going smoothly and your car is travelling without a hitch, SOMETHING in life turns everything around and leaves you questioning, 'where am i going? what am i doing?'.

Today I've had this happen to me.

Something in my life made me sit upright and wonder what are the things that are important to me? What am i really trying to achieve? Is this life i am living, this road i am travelling, is it all worth it? What am i trying to accomplish?

And now i feel like, where do i go from here?

This event that's happened, this turn of events as i put it, has taken a load of something i'm not quite sure what, off my shoulders.

And did it start today? No.

It's been quietly creeping in and i haven't noticed it until this week and indeed, just today.

I sat on my bed, looking out into space, at the blue, cloud-riddled sky and re-evaluated the road i'm on.

I don't particularly think it's given me any answers, i just think it gave me a glimpse into a life i'm trying to make sense of, even though none of that makes ANY sense.

Then, as i always do, i started thinking about what role God has played in all of this. And i came to the conclusion that sometimes when we wait, and we think life is dry and unfruitful, then God is at work and we don't even know it. Hindsight is a brilliant thing and perhaps that's played a role in some sort of burden being lifted from my shoulders.

Sometimes in life it feels as though you're traipsing through wet cement. Feels like you're not really getting anywhere and then when you catch a glimpse of where your life is going, it feels as though you're on top of that cement, walking freely.

God uses me in ways i don't even realise sometimes, in ways i don't even know or understand, and if i'm faithful to him, particularly in times when the rest of the world jeers at me and questions my motives, he'll reveal what he's doing. Not completely. But enough to let me see that my relationship with him is not in vain. It's exciting.