Film Emtions

I haven't done this in a while and I guess i only really sit down and do this when I'm bored and deep within thought.

Yesterday I watched 'Wild' at the movies and for the most part it was not really raw and really, it was pretty Hollywood i thought.  There wasn't much depth to it, unlike 'Into the Wild'.  Perhaps because the main character didn't end up dead, I don't know.

But these types of movies always make me want to explore myself deeper and to push myself into situations that I'd normally find difficult or out of my comfort zone and, absolutely, for about 2 or 3 years now, I've wanted to rip myself out of society and do something with my life that not only will change my life but also the lives of those around me.  It's a burning desire in the depths of my soul to experience something out of the ordinary, something that's life-changing, something that I can look back on and marvel over, something to be proud of myself for.

Being in society here and going through the motions seems ordinary, dull, it's too familiar for me.  Experiencing something new here, doesn't seem like it could ever be possible.  I don't know why, maybe it's because nothing in my life seems to progress or change, maybe it's because i have no ties or nothing to aspire or look forward to.  Or maybe it's because every time i find something that's good, i end up having to compete for it.  I just want to find something I'm good at and not have other people popping up around me wanting to prove themselves better than me.  Because, lets face it, that's not much of a feat anyways.  I just wanna do what i love and excel in what i do - without the distraction of others trying to push me down.