Night of Nights

It's the night of Boxing day and on one hand, i am upset because all the shops i wanted to get great sale from were closed, i did not get a single bargain. On the other hand i had the greatest night of my life just now!!!!

I've come to accept that i am hermit. I expect i will die a lonely old sole and that is ok by me. I enjoy my own company and i don't like being swayed by other people. Quite a few things over the past week have led me to this conviction!

Over this festive season, my family have begun the painful process of relocating. My parents just built a brand new house, it is huge and makes me feel extremely blessed and grateful. I have been staying in it as it has been known that people come to new houses out here (in the stix) to cut the main line of new houses, what that means is that i am staying in the house so nothing bad happens. It also means i can get away from the family too and as crazy as this sounds, it has been perfect timing for me. Our current/last house was too small for 5 large people to live in. As i moved into their house from my solitary renting, it has now been 4 long years at home. Minding their new house over the last week has been so refreshing. Did i mention i love my own company?

At the expense of sounding mushy, after a few weeks of trying to organise a date with a particular person, i have decided i don't particularly want to be in a relationship with any guys right now, if ever. They are too much hard work, time and effort. I don't want to give my time to a man. I don't want to have to worry about how much time i spend with them, when i should call, how often to text. I don't wanna have to deal with their feelings or emotions, one mind/emotions of my own are even too much for me. My peers and extended family are well and truly ahead of me in this game called love and i have not kept up. I enjoy this single life far too much to give it away. I'm just not ready for it. I'm free to be whoever i want to be, go wherever i want to go and i don't have anyone to tie me down - how can i give that up? I guess i must love my own time and space too much...

And tonight...ahhhh....i haven't been at home and so i haven't really had the chance to indulge in 'leftovers' so i ordered pizza and coke. It was so delightful. It has been the most glorious night!! The rain has also sent a cool airflow through the house and i have enjoyed no texts and no calls, just pizza, coke, rain, laptop and a big brand new house all to myelf!!!!

To an ordinary person, the kind that love the company of others, loud music, wild parties or sizzling bbqs, the kind that cannot relax in an empty house in their own presence, this night of nights might not seem special or entertaining but to me, one who finds great enjoyment in the solitary life, it was bliss.