A blog here, A blog there

I've decided, that i really love blogging. I've looked over a lot of blogs and realised just how significant it actually is. Years down the track, i'm going to look back on this and treasure what i've written, no matter how silly or trivial the things i blog about seem!

SO, i will endeavour to blog more (btw, that is definitely a buzz word for me this week, endeavour!)

I am burdened with a desire to be at Summer camp this week. Orientation has begun and I don't think this desire is one that will leave me. In 2008 i was truly ruined. Ruined for the better good. A friend of mine invited me to a summer camp expo and after attending it with her, the rest is history.

This year will be the first of many that I don't return to camp as a staff member and i am finding it hard to grasp the concept of never knowing of its existence.

I feel as if i have never lived through a winter before and out of all 30 years of my life, i have only done this camp thing three times, how can it be possible to feel so at home and at ease at camp?

Life here is slow and melancholy but yet there is absolutely nothing wrong with it, things here are normal but in a good way.

I have been praying about becoming more involved in my local church and yet after quite some time away from the standard church practices, i find i am quite hesitant to become involved again, i feel like there is this 'yes, but no' battle raging inside of me.

I have become somewhat of a recluse. It makes me nervous to be in large crowds of people and by large i mean 5 or more people. My social skills have deteriorated over the last 5 - 10 years and perhaps it's due to the life experiences i've had. I am nervous to think what the next 20 - 30 years have in store - all good things i hope!

So i will keep praying that God leads me to people and activities and conversations where he can use me the most, no matter how broken and disfigured i seem to be, not literally speaking of course.

Over the next three months, my prayers will obviously be with all the staff and campers at CDO - y'all will be amazing!!!!! Wishing i was there whole-heartedly!!!!!