Memory Lane

Do you ever just get so emotionally overwhelmed with life?

You might read something or hear something, even smell something that just makes you trip?  The older I get, the more I seem to ‘trip’.

As life goes on, you start racking up a myriad of experiences and memories, people come and go, people die. You lose old friends, you gain new ones and the cycle repeats.  Life is tiresome and I can’t even begin to imagine what 100 year old people have experienced and feel.

Just tonight I stumbled across an email exchange with a lost best friend and I felt all the emotions and it made me sad that we’ve parted ways because I wish we were still part of each others lives.

I started tumbling further down the rabbit hole, actively looking for past memories and came across this old blogging treasure.

But if you keep losing yourself in the past, it becomes very dark and unbreathable, like a heavy weight in your lungs.

But I just can’t help but wonder how I’ve come to be this age and experienced so many failed friendships, so many mixed emotions, so many memories and met so many diverse people, how I am still able to wake up a new person everyday - it baffles me.

All the different jobs I’ve had, the many places I’ve been, the indescribable and countless conversations I’ve had with probably millions of people.

And yet here I sit typing this overwhelming blog as exactly the same person I was throughout all the years that I’ve lived (which feels excessive but I admit, has not been long).

And after feeling this way for one, maybe two hours, I inhaled, exhaled and brought myself back to the present, still feeling a smidge of sadness about the past, what could’ve been but wasn’t.

It’s just one of those feelings.