In the flesh
I want to blog about something that has been a thought in my mind long before blogging became a popular form of entertainment....if that's what you'd call it.
I have a weakness. Jesus being heavenly and not earthly. Hopefully by the end of what i want to say, you'll understand what i mean if not the comment box is available for your use - leave your email address!
I often envy Jesus disciples.....i know it's not good to envy and i know it's not good to be jealous but sometimes there is little i can do about it especially when it's something i hold so closley to my heart and crave 90% of the time.
The reason i envy them is because they saw his face every day. They saw what he looked like when he'd just woken up in the morning. They saw the emotion on his face when he contemplated different things, although not fully knowing the true depth of what he was feeling in any given situation. They knew what it was like to embrace him. They heard his laugh. They laughed with him, they cried with him. They may possibly have bared their souls to him and could possibly have received advice not truly knowing the surrealism that entailed. They learnt from him. They watched him. They sat in the presence of God perhaps without even knowing exactly what that really meant!
PHWOAH................i am jealous and envious of them to the max!!!! How incredible it is to look in hindsight at what they had!
There are times in my life when i know we have a greater comfort through the Holy Spirit which they didn't have until later in their lives but there are so many times when i feel completely alone and desolate.
See, I'm a people person. I enjoy being with people. There are times when i can't get enough of my own free space and peacefulness but most of the time i enjoy hanging out with friends, going out to dinner or to the movies or travelling with someone or doing something with someone. As much as i say i detest these things, a hug or a touch can often mean the world to me. Encouragement and advice are all things i enjoy and value from the people closest to me. To be able to see, hear, touch, smell and hear is undescribable and i'd find it extremely difficult to go without any of these senses.
Yet from the one person i crave these things from, i am continually being challenged daily with. God strengthens my faith with the physical absence of Jesus and for me i find that really difficult some days. There are aspects of the doubting Thomas that i can identify with. Not that i don't believe he has died and risen for my sake but that his physical presence is something i wish i could feel.
There is something about a hug or a smile or a smooth brush of the hand that the heavenly, spiritual realm is not satisfying for me and until Jesus return it is something i continue to live without daily.
To be held in Jesus physical arms or to be accompanied by Jesus physical presence, even just to sit with him in a warm breeze and chat or to mutally laugh at something which probably isn't even funny or to have my tears physically wiped off my face or to have him phsyically by my side is something my whole inner being desperately craves to have. To have physically my very greatest, my very bestest friend next to me and to support me 100% would be my greatest joy on this earth.
I get this pang inside me when it wells up and i have this urgent desire to clutch to something physically knowing that he is a spiritual being only.
Perhaps you're not understanding this blog at all, maybe it's too girly for you (you'll never hear me say that again) maybe this is just a feminine feeling. But for me, it's something i wanted to get off my chest and to share here. There is that much of a longing within me that i wish i could not only have the spiritual Jesus (the Holy Spirit) but the physical Jesus as well!
So Jesus, if you're reading any of this....well you already know what i mean....but you teach me so much by not physically being here, it's just that most of the time, i wish i could quite literally reach out and just feel the texture of your skin, the warmth of an embrace, the depth of your voice, the aroma of your being. But you know all that it's just so frustrating you being there and me being here, having no physical contact...so if you just keep reassuring me, i guess i'll be fine.
I guess as the saying goes......"You can't have your cake and eat it too!"
Tink xoxo
I have a weakness. Jesus being heavenly and not earthly. Hopefully by the end of what i want to say, you'll understand what i mean if not the comment box is available for your use - leave your email address!
I often envy Jesus disciples.....i know it's not good to envy and i know it's not good to be jealous but sometimes there is little i can do about it especially when it's something i hold so closley to my heart and crave 90% of the time.
The reason i envy them is because they saw his face every day. They saw what he looked like when he'd just woken up in the morning. They saw the emotion on his face when he contemplated different things, although not fully knowing the true depth of what he was feeling in any given situation. They knew what it was like to embrace him. They heard his laugh. They laughed with him, they cried with him. They may possibly have bared their souls to him and could possibly have received advice not truly knowing the surrealism that entailed. They learnt from him. They watched him. They sat in the presence of God perhaps without even knowing exactly what that really meant!
PHWOAH................i am jealous and envious of them to the max!!!! How incredible it is to look in hindsight at what they had!
There are times in my life when i know we have a greater comfort through the Holy Spirit which they didn't have until later in their lives but there are so many times when i feel completely alone and desolate.
See, I'm a people person. I enjoy being with people. There are times when i can't get enough of my own free space and peacefulness but most of the time i enjoy hanging out with friends, going out to dinner or to the movies or travelling with someone or doing something with someone. As much as i say i detest these things, a hug or a touch can often mean the world to me. Encouragement and advice are all things i enjoy and value from the people closest to me. To be able to see, hear, touch, smell and hear is undescribable and i'd find it extremely difficult to go without any of these senses.
Yet from the one person i crave these things from, i am continually being challenged daily with. God strengthens my faith with the physical absence of Jesus and for me i find that really difficult some days. There are aspects of the doubting Thomas that i can identify with. Not that i don't believe he has died and risen for my sake but that his physical presence is something i wish i could feel.
There is something about a hug or a smile or a smooth brush of the hand that the heavenly, spiritual realm is not satisfying for me and until Jesus return it is something i continue to live without daily.
To be held in Jesus physical arms or to be accompanied by Jesus physical presence, even just to sit with him in a warm breeze and chat or to mutally laugh at something which probably isn't even funny or to have my tears physically wiped off my face or to have him phsyically by my side is something my whole inner being desperately craves to have. To have physically my very greatest, my very bestest friend next to me and to support me 100% would be my greatest joy on this earth.
I get this pang inside me when it wells up and i have this urgent desire to clutch to something physically knowing that he is a spiritual being only.
Perhaps you're not understanding this blog at all, maybe it's too girly for you (you'll never hear me say that again) maybe this is just a feminine feeling. But for me, it's something i wanted to get off my chest and to share here. There is that much of a longing within me that i wish i could not only have the spiritual Jesus (the Holy Spirit) but the physical Jesus as well!
So Jesus, if you're reading any of this....well you already know what i mean....but you teach me so much by not physically being here, it's just that most of the time, i wish i could quite literally reach out and just feel the texture of your skin, the warmth of an embrace, the depth of your voice, the aroma of your being. But you know all that it's just so frustrating you being there and me being here, having no physical contact...so if you just keep reassuring me, i guess i'll be fine.
I guess as the saying goes......"You can't have your cake and eat it too!"
Tink xoxo
posted by Unknown at
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
1 Comments:
Hi Leesh,
I wasn't sure whether to comment on this or not coz i know it's quite a personal one. But i decided to.
I know i can't change your mind coz i knw that's how you feel but i just thought i'd let you know my thoughts seeing as i don't have a blog of my own and just invade others.
I guess i have to say i'm the opposite. The fact that Jesus is just so much more than anything earthly makes me happy.
As with everything in this world it fades away. People leave you. They die. They ignore you. They get sick of you. They disappoint you. They just basically let you down. So the fact that Jesus is always there and never lets you down makes me happy.
He would just be too big for my little brain to comprehend physically.
In my opinion Jesus is just too good to be human.
Oh and Leesh baby...i'll hug you anyday!!!
Kind Regards,
Moojaguffer xoxo
By
Anonymous, at October 13, 2005
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