Moojaguffer's Bobcorn

Don't look it up you won't find it in the dicitionary.

I have a good friend called Dina. I often call her Deen Deens and she often replies with Lish Lish. But after having deep conversations with her about dirty people and clean people (otherwise known as clean freaks, people who fight against bacteria and grime - Katie Reid, Matthew Gluyas) this last weeked just gone past, she has earned herself the name of MOOJAGUFFER. A word i invented which means popcorn licker because i said so and here's how she earnt that name.

I am a dirty person. Get your mind out of the gutter, not THAT kind of dirty. I am lazy and i don't like doing anything (mind you, since having a flatmate i've noticed how tidy i am, not necessarily clean). Not liking elbow grease creates all sorts of problems, but not that i'm worried. It means my clothes are not ironed, i wear them creased. It means that my house is covered in dust. It means the dishes pile up and i only wash them when there are none left (or buy new ones - haha, no, no i've never done that!). It means that my bathroom is scummy. It means that my house becomes a downright mess!!!!!!!! (please do not preach at me about where in the bible it says not to be lazy - I KNOW!!!). I realise that this poses a serious health threat and also realise that this blog could have the health department knocking on my door!!! But alas, i am still alive and not looking as though i'm going to be pushing up the daisies anytime soon.

But i like being lazy and i love getting messy!!! I'd love to get in a mud wrestle and i love getting out in the rain and being soaked through. There is something about being cleaned completely that makes it fun to get dirty, that sentence would sound really bad if i were to put it into a spiritual context so let's not do that!

Anyway, my hair was all greased up on the weekend and so i asked Dina if she'd mind doing it up in pins and to my astonishment, she agreed!!! She also, like me, doesn't mind getting dirty!!! A good wash can get most things clean and that's the pattern of thinking i assumed she also had.

But i didn't understand the complete extent of exactly WHAT she meant until Sunday night. I'm not sure i even believed she was a dirty person.

But then, lo and behold, on Sunday night, i threw her some bobcorn (as the Gypo's say) and it didn't quite reach. So she scooted on over to it and to my delight (and Kt's disgust), and to prove how dirty she really is, she leaned down, opened her mouth and scooped it up with her tongue OFF THE DIRTY, DUSTY FLOOR!!!!!! I squealed with delight and applauded her magnificent game play?! What a catch!!!! What a trooper!!!!

So, Moojaguffer, welcome to my band of dirty people, you have passed your initiation (which didn't really exist until you proved yourself?!) and now have earnt a place high amongst the people who don't care about grime and know the true value of a good bath and what it is to be clean?!

Q: What is the rear entrance of a cafeteria?
A: Bacteria!!!!

Tink xoxo

PS: Moojaguffer, you will be pleased to know, you are my grand 40th post!!!