The Absence of Touch

So i was sitting on the train today and from nowhere, the tears just started streaming down my face (hiding tears from gawking onlookers is NOT easy!)

I wanted to hug lots of people from camp at that exact moment and couldn't, i wanted to talk with them, laugh with them but couldn't. I suppose it was just a distressing realisation that brought me to tears (and have just been emotional and really tired of late).

I was saying to a friend the other day that it almost seems like my American friends have passed away because i don't have them in the flesh, just the memory of them. Having them on facebook and on Skype is my lifeline but in saying that, time differences and money prevent it from being on a casual, day to day basis. This past month has brought the reality of distance home to me.

I have been thinking alot about camp these days but not just the wonderful, inspiring and encouraging friends i made there but also those children i met, those bonds and relationships that were formed.

Did i leave that camp never to go back? Did i walk out on their lives like so many other people have done before or will i return? Will i continue to invest some of my time into their lives?

Will i allow others to hold me back from being at camp and secure my spot in the comfort zone or will i just go out on a limb like i did in the first place only having the arms of God to fall into, those arms of grace to carry me?

I am starting to pray alot about this, asking God what it is he would have me do, what the purpose of my return would be and am asking that you too would keep this request in your prayers as well.

Thanks!
Alisha xoxo