Being Still

I've had my knickers in a knot for a couple of weeks now.  Just can't seem to feel comfortable in my job.  Not really getting along with some of the people i work with and really wondering how to combat that.

I'm almost certain i don't want to be there anymore and yet it's not a job i seem to ever be able to get out of.


Getting out of what i'm doing is consuming me so much lately that my thoughts even trailed off during the sermon last night at church and i started wondering if what i was doing even really matters, that maybe i should be more ministry focused.

But then who am i kidding, i can't even stand to work with some of my colleagues!! ha! i'm only human i suppose.....(ha!  what a copout!!!)

Anyways....

So i was in the shower on Saturday, which is where i do most of my deepest thinking, and got to thinking about how sometimes, when we THINK we're being still, there's still a hundred things going on for us, even our thoughts are racing a hundred miles a minute!  So what does it mean just to be still?

Then on Sunday night, Pastor Luke talked about being still.....and i was like, 'ha!...ok...'

Then this morning at prayers our Department Head talked about being still in the workplace (psshhht!) and i gots to thinking that maybe being still is something i'm struggling with in my life.  Perhaps this was the small voice of God, 'the gentle whisper' that Elijah heard in 1 Kings 19.

Just now I came home and opened Pinterest.  My newest favourite, mind-numbing activity!  People 'pin' different images onto 'boards' that they've categorised.  It's like playing pretend for adults hahaha (although there ARE some great recipes and instructionals on there too!)

But anyways, someone posted this:

 So I'm pretty sure I'm recognising God in all of this, but just not completely understanding it all.  I'm not an awesome Christian.  In fact, i'm a doubting thomas most of the time.  It's highly unlikely that God is impressed by anything i do or say and yet i still cling to this hope that he loves me and pursues me.  Some days i get this image that i'm hanging onto God whilst i'm hanging from a cliff.  But that's not what this blog is about, that's a completely seperate blog all together.

I just know, in some capacity, i need just to be still......whatever that looks like.