Feel My Pain

So i feel that i may have over-reacted with my last blog and feel silly for getting all hyped up about it all but still, these things are very worrying sometimes.

Anyway, more about my deteriorating health...hahaha...i AM 26 after all! I have to die eventually, although this next subject isn't going to kill me, i'm pretty sure!

My doctor says i have planktar fasciitis. Which means that in between a muscle and a bone under my foot is inflamed and causing alot of pain.

So at first i didn't really care, i could live with the pain (she couldn't give me anything for it, i have to excercise my foot pffft) but now the pain is becoming excruciating! It really hurts when i'm on and not on my feet. I don't know what to do about it. I can't do anything!

Then i realised a VERY sad truth.

No-one will EVER feel our pain! No matter how much we moan and groan about how sore something is, there is no such thing as a pain-o-meter and i as i came to this realisation, it distressed me. I NEEDED someone to feel how painful this pain is in my foot because no-one knows what it feels like, it's not just sore it's so incredibly painful, but no-one knows how that feels.

So i thought, imagine if people could actually feel your pain, your physical, agonising pain. Would our responses change dramatically or not at all??? Would we worry about people more or less? Who would take priority in the healing world? Oh man, all i can say is if people could feel how sore my foot was, i think they'd pamper me hahahaha.....

Then i got thinking about our emotional pain. No-one can feel that either. No-one knows who puts on a face and who doesn't because God created the 'smile' and we abuse what we have sometimes by just painting it on. Imagine that, imagine if we could feel people's emotional pain?! We'd be wrecks!!!!! Imagine how much life would change if we could step into a cubicle and switch on someone's pain. You know, you could have like different options. You could decide whether you wanted to feel their physical or emotional pain and then once you did that, you could select a name from the list of who was hurting.

I wonder if it would be what we'd expect or completely different, i'm guessing the pain we THINK people are feeling, wouldn't match up!

Sometimes i think we underestimate what people feel. They smile and we think everything is ok. That's the problem with suicide i guess.

Lately I've just been wishing i was a fly on the wall in alot of people's conversations. I'd love to know what people think and the way that they feel. Even just to get inside some people's brains and figure out what makes them tick and all the silent thoughts that run through people's heads. It would prove to be interesting I'm sure!

So I'm really sorry that i can't feel your pain and i'm as sorry as all heck thatyou can't feel mine but i think that's just the way it's gonna have to stay unless some einstein comes up with a pain-o-meter! hehe....

Alisha xoxo