It Is Well With My Soul

I have been doing some struggling through life over the past month, some wrestling with God i guess, healthy, learning wrestling but wrestling nonetheless and this song below came over my iPod while i was in the car with a friend.

I've heard the song on my iPod many times and there have been moments where i take it in, let God speak to my soul, but I think because of how my last month has been, even as i type this, it makes me weep because there really ARE times when my heart just aches and wants to know why, there are times when life just seems so wrong and so begins all my questions to God.

Over the past 4/5 years of my intimate relationship with God i have experienced alot of acceptance, alot of healing and i believe there is still more healing to take place in my own life, things still weigh me down, there are things i STILL don't understand, my relationship with God is STILL flawed and there will ALWAYS be things i am learning about him, about us.

There are moments when i am reminded of doubt and darkness that the world is trapped in - that i was once a part of.

And yet in this song below it says 'your yoke is easy and your burden is light'.

'You have reached down to me, you have rescued me
And have shed your blood for my soul'

Isn't this part mind-blowing - the great God of the heavens reached down to miss insignificance who happens to be me, shed blood for my soul AND seeks a relationship with me - how is it that i have the privilege of serving such an amazing God and Creator such as him? How can it be that Jesus made it so easy for us to approach the throne of grace so freely???

'Whatever my lot, you have taught me to know
It is well, it is well with my soul'

I find it incredibly releasing to know that whatever circumstance life throws my way, no matter how i feel or what thoughts race through my head, it is well with my soul because Jesus carries me.

He is truly the great comforter and hope.

________________________________________

IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL
Brenton Brown

Sometimes it's hard, sometimes I cry
Sometimes my heart wants to know why?
But your yoke is easy and your burden is light
And though my heart is aching and there're tears in my eyes

Whatever my lot, you have taught me to know
It is well, it is well with my soul

It's not always easy, I'm not always right
Sometimes I do things that are wrong in your sight
But I have decided I'm going to follow Jesus
And there's no turning back, there's no turning back

Whatever my lot, you have taught me to know
It is well, it is well with my soul

You have reached down to me, you have rescued me
And have shed your blood for my soul
And I live now knowing that the sky and not the grave will be my goal
And just as in life, also in death this truth will comfort and console
That soon I will see your face and hear your voice and know that it is well. . .

Whatever my lot, you have taught me to know
It is well, it is well with my soul

But please hold my hand Lord and hold on tight
'Cause the road here is narrow...

Brenton Brown/H.G. Spafford/Daniel Ornellas

Behind the Song:
"Written 12 years ago, tweaked by my good friend Dan Ornellas and inspired by Horatio Spafford's great hymn It is well, this song describes the peace that comes from knowing someone who is constant and deeply attached to me. The God who holds my hand."
- Brenton Brown

The Absence of Touch

So i was sitting on the train today and from nowhere, the tears just started streaming down my face (hiding tears from gawking onlookers is NOT easy!)

I wanted to hug lots of people from camp at that exact moment and couldn't, i wanted to talk with them, laugh with them but couldn't. I suppose it was just a distressing realisation that brought me to tears (and have just been emotional and really tired of late).

I was saying to a friend the other day that it almost seems like my American friends have passed away because i don't have them in the flesh, just the memory of them. Having them on facebook and on Skype is my lifeline but in saying that, time differences and money prevent it from being on a casual, day to day basis. This past month has brought the reality of distance home to me.

I have been thinking alot about camp these days but not just the wonderful, inspiring and encouraging friends i made there but also those children i met, those bonds and relationships that were formed.

Did i leave that camp never to go back? Did i walk out on their lives like so many other people have done before or will i return? Will i continue to invest some of my time into their lives?

Will i allow others to hold me back from being at camp and secure my spot in the comfort zone or will i just go out on a limb like i did in the first place only having the arms of God to fall into, those arms of grace to carry me?

I am starting to pray alot about this, asking God what it is he would have me do, what the purpose of my return would be and am asking that you too would keep this request in your prayers as well.

Thanks!
Alisha xoxo