The Honest Truth

I don't know exactly what it is i'm about to write but i do know that it's a subject that's been floating around my head for about a week or two and i keep meaning to blog about it but always find something better to do. Tonight, it's late and i'm not as tired as i thought i was and with no-one online to distract me and no games to play or emails to write, i couldn't think of a better thing than to write that blog i've been meaning to write.

The title of this blog might become clear at the end, who knows!

In the last week, i have received two emails, consoled one person and continued the journey on this path that we call friendship. I have been reminded of the things that i hold close to my heart and the qualities that i value in any kind of relationship.

I may have already blogged on this before but if i have, it's simply because this is a part of my heart that i feel strongly about.

Relationships, whatever form they come in, are the most stupid, tricky and complex things i have ever come across and they are something that i think i will go to my grave not having ever figured out.

I always vow to never again start a new kind of relationship with anyone because the ones i already have take so much effort and work. A relationship is a very high maintenance affair which is why it puts me off wanting to start a new one. And yet, i always seem to find someone else to relate to, someone else to befriend.

In the last six months, i have started MANY new friendships, ended one, struggled with others and grown deeper with those closest to my heart. I've learnt more about what real friendships are and the glue that holds it together.

I'm a hermit but i'm also a leech. I love my own company, sometimes being with others makes me extremely anxious but when i find the people that love me, i cling to them and sometimes i have to be careful not to smother them - there is such a fine line between being a hermit and a leech that it can be hard to find the right balance. Perhaps that's why maintaining friendships is so hard for me to do.

But anyway, in any sort of relationship, there are two most important things i value most. Whenever either of these are breached, i feel such a deep sense of pain and hurt and it's what makes it difficult to begin something new with someone else, it destroys all trust i have in another person, knowing they could hurt me in exactly the same way.

Trust and honesty.

Being able to be honest and trusting they will still be there for you after that honesty has been delivered. I will always stick to the belief that if there is no communication in any kind of relationship, it won't work. The same applies with honesty, if you can't be open and tell the truth, it also won't work.

That's not to say that something can't be said with respect and with care and feeling, unless your intention is to hurt them.

I'm actually not quite sure where i'm going with this anymore except to say that this is a desperate plea to all my friends and loved ones.

Please, don't hide anything. Say what you mean. Tell the truth and be open about the relationship we have. If it's meant to end, it will end (perhaps for the best!) and if it's meant to last then that will happen too. Honesty and truth end any kind of relationships the RIGHT way, in due course, the season may be over but it may have just begun. But if it is hidden, the ending of that relationship can be painful and messy, destroying all faith and trust in others which that person might have.

The people in my life that grant me truth, honesty and loyalty are my most treasured friends!

No Facebook - Day 19

No Facebook - Day 12

No Facebook - Day 9

No Facebook - Day 8

No Facebook - Day 5

No Facebook - Day 4

Monica Crain Does It Again

Today after work, i went shopping at Coles (coz that's my shop of preference, opposed to Woolworths - although, Woolies sells Poppin popcorn - which is THE best popcorn EVER!!!)

I was shopping mainly for more shampoo and conditioner but one thing led to another and eventually i was in the peach ice tea aisle buying the make up syrup stuff.

On the shelf above, was a powdery substance called 'Tang' so i picked it up to look at it, thinking automatically that it may be something like Crystal Lights - the best cordial/make up drink EVER!!!!!!!

Crystal Lights are fat, sugar and carb free but do have 5 calories per sachet and they are THE best thing about drinking water!!!!! It's just like drinking flavoured water!!!

'Tang' is NOT like Crystal Light. It's much more sugary - but i should probably taste it sometime.

When i eventually got home, there was a package for me sitting at the bottom of the steps!!!! OMG, when this happens the blood in my veins shoots up with adrenaline - it was so exciting!!!!

It was from America!!!!!! They are the best parcels to receive.

a. because it's from the States

b. because it was from the one and the only Monica Crain and

c. THEY WERE CRYSTAL LIGHTS!!!!!!

It was so flippin' uncanny but dang, it made my whole month to receive that!!!!! Monica is such a spoiler - man, she spoils people rotten and she knows exactly what they like!!!

I was getting all sad too because i was down to my last half a box and because they don't sell it here, that meant no more!!!

She writes 'this should last you a while'.....ummmm.....ok.....i guess that means, go easy on them hahahaha....

Anyways, so Monica puts them in a knife box to keep me distracted and then when i open it, low and behold, it is FILLED TO THE BRIM with Crystal Lights - it took my breath away and if i really put my mind to it, i probly would've cried with joy!!!

The funny part was that on the outside, she writes treats. But when they scanned it, it must have looked like heroin because when i got it, it had a sticker on it saying 'Australia Post opened this parcel for investigation purposes'. So thinking it was heroin, they would've opened it to discover a knife box, filled with sachets of a powdery substance which i'm sure they would've opened to double check it wasn't drugs hahahahaha......at least that's what i like to believe.

So i don't really have anything else to write except THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU MONICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anything you want, i will send!!!

No Facebook - Day 3

Facebook Goes On Holiday

On the 31st December 2008, I made my first ever resolution just to see if i could actually see it through to the New Year. So i decided not to drink soda for the year 2009.

Today it is 1st January 2010 and i am pleased to announce that during the year of 2009, i went soda free - didn't touch a drop of fizz the whole year. I have to admit it was pretty easy because there are a lot of options out there besides fizz, it's just that fizz is a lot cheaper than say powerade or juice or milkshakes or coffee or vitamin water....which i might add is $4.20 a pop here in Australia. So not a cheap option but none the less an easy one. I think it was easier to conquer in the States than it was here because they have free refills on say lemonade which is not fizzy. Here, we only have free refills on soda and that's only at participating stores and restaurants, not everywhere.

So last night, the 31st December in the last half an hour of the year, i was prompted by friends as to what my next resolution would be. I hadn't even thought of one.

In the beginning, they joked about giving up facebook for a year and anyone who knows me well knows that facebook is an addiction i'd rather not let go of. They joked that they'd each match that resolution with $200 - which in effect would be $600, IF i could it.

At first i laughed it off because there was no way i wanted friends to give me money for a stupid resolution but after a while i began to seriously consider it, not for the money but purely for the challenge.

So i agreed to go without facebook for a year. It meant that i still had skype and google and access to the internet in general, just no facebook.

But then we all came up with a MUCH better Resolution. We decided that we'd try and get sponsors for this Resolution and that any money we raised would go to some kind of charity one that we didn't actually think of at the time but perhaps something to do with raising money for computers for underprivileged kids or something like that which was linked to the actual no usage of facebook.

So that's what we did, we set up a group on facebook for anyone who'd like to join, just in general to begin with but also for anyone who'd wanna sponsor me. So if you'd like to sponsor me, just go and check out the group page. You can search for it on Facebook. It's called 'Alisha Blackman says goodbye to Facebook - Support the cause.' I'd chuck a link on here, but i don't know what it is and i can't go there to get it. Sorry.

I'm gonna try and keep people updated here of how my year goes, but once we have the nominated charity, we'll post it on the actual group page.

This all happened in the last half hour of 2009 and we're gonna have a big NYE party on the 31st of December 2010 and invite whichever charity we choose to give the money to to come along so we can present them with the cheque. It'll also be open to anyone who joins the group just for fun. It's gonna be off the chain - i actually can't believe we ALREADY have NYE plans....hahaha....

So make sure you join and I'll see ya then but for now, it's see ya in 2011 Facebook!!!