Prayer for Teen Camp Del Oro

It's really late, which is never a good time to blog, but i wanted to write down something that's been on my heart for a couple of weeks now (actually for quite a few months!).

I remember a night at camp last year bawling my eyes out. Mostly because some people were leaving and i had to say goodbye, but i also knew at that time everything was ending and i wouldn't be at another camp for a long time, if ever. IT was a sad time.

I also remember chatting with Cheryl about the prospect of not returning and remember how spirit crushing it felt at the time.

Leading up to camp this year, my spirit was heavy and burdened. I'd lay awake at night thinking about schedules and activities and about the returning campers that would be there and the ones i wouldn't even know yet. I'd think about the ins and outs of teen camp, the staff, what works, what doesn't work and it got to the point where i had to sit upright in bed and ask God to take this burden away from me just so i could sleep.

Not returning to teen camp, a second home to me and something which i considered close to my heart, was taunting my mind and obviously my spirit. I couldn't sleep, it was constantly the only thing racing through my mind and tearing up my heart.

God didn't answer my prayer straight away and even now that he actually has, there are still moments when i still allow myself to get caught up thinking about what might've been and what just isn't.

But i prayed so hard and so desperately to God that the right staff would be put there. I already knew most of the kids who would be there, but it was the whole staff that was causing my anguish what if no-one knew how to run the place. It's Teen Camp's 5th birthday this year and one which i won't be there to celebrate. I missed the opening of the first Teen Camp and was there for the three following years and now, here i am chilling in Sydney Australia, instead of complaining about the heat in CA working where i know God created me to work.

When i heard that Justin was on staff out there, it was like God removed my burden. Yes, i was still sad that i wasn't going to be there, yes i was still disappointed the relationship-building had come to an end - heck, i was even sad i wouldn't be at the bonding campfire breakfasts anymore but in that one piece of knowledge, i knew God had sealed his anointing on that place and it filled me with this indescribable joy and peace. The burden was gone. It was like God saying, don't worry about it anymore and since then i haven't worried about it. I've rejoiced knowing that God has his hand over the campers and over the staff.

It definitely doesn't mean i won't be praying for them, my goodness, that place is like my baby. Those campers are like my adopted children, of COURSE i won't stop praying for them, i miss them all so very much. But i know that the plans God has for that place and for all of those people at camp are plans that will prosper them and not harm them. They're plans that will give them a future and a hope. God will listen to their prayers, just as he has heard mine and when they seek him with all of their heart, like i did, they will find him, Christ Jesus.

That's my prayer.

A blog here, A blog there

I've decided, that i really love blogging. I've looked over a lot of blogs and realised just how significant it actually is. Years down the track, i'm going to look back on this and treasure what i've written, no matter how silly or trivial the things i blog about seem!

SO, i will endeavour to blog more (btw, that is definitely a buzz word for me this week, endeavour!)

I am burdened with a desire to be at Summer camp this week. Orientation has begun and I don't think this desire is one that will leave me. In 2008 i was truly ruined. Ruined for the better good. A friend of mine invited me to a summer camp expo and after attending it with her, the rest is history.

This year will be the first of many that I don't return to camp as a staff member and i am finding it hard to grasp the concept of never knowing of its existence.

I feel as if i have never lived through a winter before and out of all 30 years of my life, i have only done this camp thing three times, how can it be possible to feel so at home and at ease at camp?

Life here is slow and melancholy but yet there is absolutely nothing wrong with it, things here are normal but in a good way.

I have been praying about becoming more involved in my local church and yet after quite some time away from the standard church practices, i find i am quite hesitant to become involved again, i feel like there is this 'yes, but no' battle raging inside of me.

I have become somewhat of a recluse. It makes me nervous to be in large crowds of people and by large i mean 5 or more people. My social skills have deteriorated over the last 5 - 10 years and perhaps it's due to the life experiences i've had. I am nervous to think what the next 20 - 30 years have in store - all good things i hope!

So i will keep praying that God leads me to people and activities and conversations where he can use me the most, no matter how broken and disfigured i seem to be, not literally speaking of course.

Over the next three months, my prayers will obviously be with all the staff and campers at CDO - y'all will be amazing!!!!! Wishing i was there whole-heartedly!!!!!